Social Media eagerly awaits the outing of a rapist, apparently said to be a prominent Ghanaian living in the USA and others in what appears to be a #MeToo episode in Ghana.
Kuukuwa Andam, Ghanaian intellectual, lawyer, out of closet full blown lesbian, PhD candidate and daughter of the late Prof Andam former superstar Vice-chancellor of the prestigious Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and technology narrates a horrible story with gory details of being raped in a Washington DC hotel room while having an illicit affair with a married man.
She shocked facebookers, friends and her fans with a “Turkey-Khashoggi-style” suspense-filled exposé, all await Monday the 14th of January to get a name and face to the rapist.
Below is the narration of the horrible alleged rape incident as posted on her facebook:
TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE
6 years ago, I was raped in a hotel in Washington DC by a married man I had been dating for a couple of months to make ends meet. We met up in the hotel & I refused to have sex without a condom but he went ahead anyway & then refused to speak to me throughout the night. I still remember how gross I felt when he forced himself inside me, how my body seemed to separate from my spirit/ soul, how I could feel myself floating in the room above me. I still remember the heartbreaking ride from Washington DC where I met him to Ithaca where I was going to school at Cornell. I don’t know how I found my way home.
I tried to commit suicide the next day by taking an overdose & was hospitalized in a mental ward for several days afterward. I spent Christmas season in a mental hospital because of what this man did to me. I still remember coming home & cutting off my hair with a pair of scissors throwing out all my nice clothes & bingeing on a tub of ice cream I had in the fridge. From that time till today, I would struggle with a binge eating disorder & gain 80 pounds in just 3 months.
But I wasn’t the perfect victim. I was dating a married man for money which qualifies me as an ashawo/ prostitute in Ghanaian terms & prostitutes can’t get raped right? I still spoke to him months after it happened, after I came out of the hospital because I needed the money & because I like many Ghanaian women had been socialized to be nice to men regardless of what they do to you.
Back then I didn’t even realize it was rape. How was it rape when I agreed to go into his hotel room & he was my boyfriend? I just know how what he did to me made me feel like dirt & how it made me feel like I wanted to sleep & never wake up.
Even months after it happened, I still referred to him by the cringe-worthy pet name I had for him even as I died inside. I wasn’t the perfect victim. I was so traumatized by what happened that I couldn’t even remember the name of the hotel! Can you imagine? I couldn’t remember the name or the date. Till today when I pulled up the email of him booking the room, I couldn’t remember.
And yet perfect victims are supposed to be raped to the point of bleeding, by a stranger, they’re supposed to have their clothes & panties ripped apart, they’re… supposed to never contact their rapist again, they’re supposed to remember all details related to their rapes perfectly. This is why people mocked Dr. Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Justice Kavanaugh of rape without remembering all the details.
Perhaps, it’s time for us to rethink this idea of a perfect rape victim because even those of us who aren’t perfect still suffer the scars. I have contacted all 3 of my rapists today. The rapes occurred between 2011 & 2012 & changed me forever. I used to be such a happy bubbly person & these men made me sad & cynical.
If I receive an apology from any of them, I might decide to let it go. But I will surely put any of them who don’t apologize on blast soon. And I don’t care that Ghanaians will blame me or people will rejoice at my pain or whatever. This isn’t for anyone but ME.
I have decided to think about me for a change because when those men raped me, they certainly did not. It’s for me to find my peace & for me to be happy again & to take back the joy & power they stole from me years ago.
She also posts:
“Meanwhile thanks for the advice that has come in about putting my 3 rapists on blast. I’ve not made a decision but you’ll all find out on Monday by 9 pm GMT (6 pm EST) what decision I made? of course, based on whether they apologize & show actual concrete remorse & change. For those worried about my safety & reputation, I’ll take that into consideration also.
What you guys don’t understand is that when I tried to commit suicide TWICE by swallowing pills, I actually died. Yeah. That part of me that used to be afraid died. This is why I came out as a member of the LGBT community soon afterward & have been speaking my mind ever since. I’ve lost fear & shame lol. I simply don’t care”