Motivational speaker and marriage counselor Frank Edem Adofoli has observed that it is wrong for one to have multiple relationship partners advising that you either end the old one and move into the new one or should not even encourage the new one when you are not certain of the state of the old one.
According to him, only fake people enter new relationships behaving in such manner explaining that putting a relationship in a sleeping mode under the pretense it has ended is very dangerous.
“It is an error to accept a proposal whilst you are in another relationship if you are not happy, just end it and you are free to do what you want to do. After all it is your life, it does not belong to anyone but don’t keep the person you are not interested in, in suspense”.
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Counselor AdofoliRead his full statement below:
PEOPLE DON’T END RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE ENTERING ANOTHER
These days people barely end relationships, they just hibernate the relationship or put it in sleeping mode and then pretend they have ended the relationship. If you are not happy with your current relationship or the one you are in, be it that it’s not taking you where you want to go, be bold and end it before you start talking to others.
It is an error to accept a proposal whilst you are in another relationship, if you are not happy, just end it and you are free to do what you want to do. After all it is your life, it does not belong to anyone but don’t keep the person you are not interested in, in suspense.
Before the start of the relationship, there was a proposal and acceptance and if you are no more interested communicate to your partner and then leave. Break ups are not negotiable so there is nothing like when if I inform him or her, they won’t allow me to go. Yours is to take the decision and notify them, period!
Know your place in the relationship and act accordingly. That is what we called self-respect. That’s what makes you genuine and trustworthy. It is deceptive to pretend you have ended the relationship without giving your partner prior notice and rather start entertaining someone new. You make life complicated for yourself.
People who do that are fake; they mostly tell the new partner they are single meanwhile they are not. Whilst some will refuse to answer the calls of the old partner, stop entertaining them, act cold towards them, and yet not able to voice it out to them that they have moved on.
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It is like one part of them wants it, the other part does not. Such a person is a confused person. When you do that, you can imagine the frustration you put your old partner through; you make them overthink, they are lost in thought as to what you are up to or want from them. Some of these old partners even ask what the status of the relationship is, yet they are not able to voice it out.
Imagine the new person you are seeing now realizes you are seeing someone besides them, or you are not over with the person you call Ex, do you think he or she can trust you? Do you think your new relationship has a future?
This kind of relationship is the type which is always having issues with Exes. At one point, they want to go back to their Ex or hoping their Ex might show up one day so they can reunite. Some go back to the Ex without letting the new person know, making them feel used or taken for a fool or a pain killer.
If you want to leave a relationship which has no future please be honest with yourself and do that, don’t hold on to the old memories and thoughts of how things used to be between you and your partner. If you are not ready to leave, don’t entertain anyone new or lead them on. Such acts create a bad impression about you.
Love is not confusion, to love is not to hurt, let’s do what is right. If your next relationship will work, it depends on how you start it, if you start with lies, it won’t last. It is better to be honest to yourself and your feelings.
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In conclusion, “Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth” – 1 Corinthians 13:6 (ERV).
