Renowned marriage Counselor, Frank Edem Adofoli has observed that most marriage today lack humility, unlike the reverse where partners put the interest of the other first leading to a very peaceful marriage that stands the test of time.
According to his new submission on why marriages break up, Counselor Adofoli has stated that nowadays pride has over humility in all relationships, unlike the olden days when it was the other way round.
Read the full text of his article below;
HOW PARTNERS CHANGE FROM ANGELS TO DEVILS
The Beginning of many relationships or love stories is so beautiful but the ending is so heartbreaking that people believe love does not last. It just does not end there, it affects people’s views and perception of marriage. It is surprising how some relationships were amazing until the same singles became married. The dating was beautiful but the marriage is ugly.
What was present during dating but missing in marriage? What were people doing right during dating but doing wrong during marriage? The answers to these questions bring out one major ingredient which is missing in lots of marriages today. It is called humility.
Many marriages today lack humility; the quality of having a modest or low view of one’s importance. In Relationships that have humility, people put their partners first. They are able to say we are all important but you matter more because I love you. People in relationships that have humility are selfless and always put their partners first in everything.
They don’t mind giving their all to their partner, they are humble towards each other and because of that, they respect each other and are very submissive to themselves. They have the habit of serving each other; meeting the needs of their partners.
Lots of people do these things at the beginning of the relationship because of their feelings for each other. But as the relationship grows and goes through different phases such as conflict, misunderstanding, individuals become so much selfish and withdraw from their partner.
Serving each other becomes difficult, they become more important than their partners; they value themselves more than their partners. At that point pride takes over their being and as a result they become insensitive to their partner’s needs. Once they are not happy in the relationship, they resort to seeking their happiness elsewhere than finding out what went wrong and how to make the relationship work.
Today, lots of couples are filled with pride, they don’t have the soft spot for their partners anymore. They stopped doing the very things which made their partner fall in love with them. Pride has changed the angel in the relationship into a devil. She used to be called ‘Angel’ when dating; today she is the devil in the marriage.
The danger about pride is, the one who has it doesn’t know and doesn’t listen to anyone. Pride is such a powerful tool that it destroys loving relationships. It took pride for an Angel called Lucifer to be driven away from heaven to earth. Today Angel Lucifer is called Satan. The devil to whom every bad thing is attributed.
If you are in a relationship or marriage which is not working and wondering how you can save that relationship, I urge you to give up your pride for humility, it takes that to make you an angel in the relationship. When you are filled with humility, you listen to your partner and pay attention to their needs; you don’t take them for granted. Serving them becomes easy. Submission is not supposed to be a burden in the marriage.
It takes humility to love your enemy even if you are cut into pieces, but it takes pride to hate a loved one even if they feed you with pure honey. Pride blinds you whilst humility lets you see the very small values others don’t pay attention to. Let us cultivate the habit of humility in our relationships, by so doing, love will never turn into hate, your angel will not turn into your devil.
In conclusion, “But He gives us more loving-favor. For the Holy Writings say, “God works against the proud but gives loving-favor to those who have no pride” – James 4:6 (NLV).